4thofeleven: (Default)
Watching the Extended cut of Mass Effect, synthetic ending, and the implications of merging all organic and synthetic life:

(As Shepard’s name is added to the memorial plaque.)

A: So… is the sign part organic now?
B: Well, technically writing is a technology, so…
A: It’s people?
B: It’s part meat, at least.

Samson

Jan. 6th, 2011 07:29 pm
4thofeleven: (Default)
Conversation at the supermarket checkout:

Cashier: Here’s your change, and have a nice day. (Turns suddenly serious.) Can I give you some advice?
Me: Um, alright…
Cashier: Don’t cut your hair. Ever.
Me: (Blinks, leaves not sure whether to be flattered or unerved.)

Problem is, it's getting kind of tangled, so I was planning on getting a trim next week - but it feels really stupid to do it after being specifically warned not to - like, 'lets split up to explore the haunted house!' stupid.

If I vanish unexpectedly, you'll know what happened.
4thofeleven: (Default)
Overheard on the bus:

A: You know, prisoners... you know how much it costs to keep them? They're living like kings off our money!
B: We should have, like, Saddam Hussein prisons! He knew how to deal with prisoners!
A: Yeah! Or, like, prisons like they have in all those... those countries... those guys with beards. Who are they?
B: Muslims?
A: Yeah, them. Are they the guys with beards?
B: I think so.
4thofeleven: (Default)
Conversation at the hairdressers:

A: So, what do you do?
B: I'm still at uni. Studying history.
A: History, huh. Stuff that's already happened.
B: ...That's how it usually works, yes.

Irony

Sep. 8th, 2009 02:43 pm
4thofeleven: (Default)
Conversation in class today:

A: …the rivers of the Greek underworld: Acheron, Styx… um. Damn, what’s the other famous one? Can’t remember the name...
(Pause)
B: Lethe?
A: Yeah, that’s it, thanks.
B: It is very easy to forget that one.
4thofeleven: (Default)
I get on the train today, and there’s two guys near the back of the carriage. At least one of them is clearly drunk, and they’re both big violent looking guys. They’re both getting kind of aggressive with each other.

They became a little harder to take seriously once I overheard a few snippets of their argument:

“Fuck you man! That works, I solved it!”
“You’re not fucking listening to me. You can’t do it that way, because the goat will eat the damn cabbage.”
“The fuck you talking about? The goat’s still on the first side of the river, I’m sending the fucking wolf over this time!”

I got off the next stop, so I didn’t find out if the guy managed to solve the puzzle, or if they ended up coming to blows over it…
4thofeleven: (Default)
Conversation the other night:

A: Hey, incest is illegal, right? What about a threesome with two sisters? Is that illegal?
B: Asking this for a reason, or...?
A: Just curious as to what the legal definitions are.
B: Hmm... no idea. I-
(Pause)
A: What?
B: I was going to check the internet, but realised searching for “same-sex incest threesome” is unlikely to produce the results I want.
A: You could... no, wait. Adding ‘legal’ to the search probably won’t improve things.
4thofeleven: (Default)
Three passengers, one a man with long hair, are sitting half a carriage up the train from me. The one with long hair gets off. Once he’s left, one of the remaining passengers speaks:

1: Man, I hadn’t realised how long his hair had gotten since we last saw him.
2: Yeah. He looks like Chewbacca from the back!
1: Heh. Chewbacca.
2: Groaaah!
1: Wrrrargh!
2: Grooarg!

[They continue making Wookiee noises until they both get off, three stations later]
4thofeleven: (Default)
Waiting for the train, an old man comes up to me.

Old Man: Excuse me, do you know when the next train is coming?
Me: About five minutes.
Old Man: Thank you. It will probably be later though. Trains are never on time these days.
Me: Yeah, I know what you mean.
Old Man: The government should do something about it!
Me: (Nods, makes some innocuous comment about the crappy private company that runs the trains now.)
Old Man: I should have joined Hitler’s army! This wouldn’t be happening if he’d won!

(Pause)

Me: Oh, hey, is that the train? Looks like it’s early. I’d better go… over there… to get on board it…
4thofeleven: (Default)
Friend: You know, when you said that there was meant to be a lot of Wookiees in this, I wasn’t expecting, you know, this much Wookiee material.
Me: Neither was I… neither was I.

F: Why is there a holographic gymnastics sequence?
M: Huh. I’m kind of surprised at how quickly this went off the rails – especially since I thought having the first ten minutes be entirely in untranslated Wookiee was going off the rails.
F: We’re not even watching the gymnasts – we’re watching the creepy Wookiee kid watching the gymnasts.

M: This Imperial officer seems to be acting far too sinister for someone just buying a razor.
F: Imagine how sinister he is when he’s on duty!

M: I’m not sure why Luke thinks “You know them, anything could have happened!” is reassuring.

F: This is porn, right? There’s no other possible interpretation except that this is meant to be VR porn.
M: Who did the writers think was the intended audience of this thing? That’s not rhetorical, I cannot understand what they could be thinking.

F: Leia still hasn’t learned Wookiee? How long has she known Chewbacca by now?
M: Leia’s pretty racist when you get down to it. Right now, she’s presumably somewhere between calling them ‘big walking carpets’ and using ‘I’d just as soon kiss a Wookiee’ as a put down.
F: Point.

F: Huh – the Imperial guy’s actually getting into this song.
M: Nah, it’s audience participation. He’s enjoying the suffering of *us*, forced to listen to the song!
F: Wow – that’s pretty evil.

F: Did the quality of this tape just drop even further, or is this a cartoon?
M: It’s a cartoon… why is R2 made of jelly?

M: Boba Fett should always ride a Plesiosaur. Tell me that wouldn’t have improved the Empire Strikes Back.

F: WHAT THE HELL DID THEY DO TO HAN SOLO?!
M: I guess… um… maybe they somehow didn’t have the rights to Harrison Ford’s image for the cartoon? Or any other human’s image either?

F: It’s such a shame to see great actors like the slug-headed guy wasted on material like this.
M: I like that they came up with this whole musical sequence in the Mos Eisley Cantina, couldn’t work it into the Wookiee plot, so they came up with the logical justification that it’s some sort of Imperial propaganda video.
F: Maybe it’s the Imperial version of the Two Minutes Hate.
M: I do feel like taking out my aggression on someone after watching this.

F: Why do they say “May the Force be with you?”. They’re not Jedi.
M: It’s a generic good wishes phrase.
F: But nobody knows about the Force in this era – it’s been suppressed by the Empire.
M: Maybe Chewie’s secretly a Jedi. He doesn’t flaunt it like Obi-Wan, but he can still use the Force and knows about it.
F: Why’s Han all sceptical about the Jedi in A New Hope, then?
M: Private joke between him and Chewie.
F: Makes sense – explains why the Millennium Falcon’s got a lightsaber training remote on board. And why Obi-Wan was so sure they needed to hire Chewie’s ship!
M: Luke probably never learned how to make a new lightsaber – he just borrowed one off Chewie in RotJ!

F: Wookiees should not wear robes.
M: Is that… is she singing to the Star Wars theme?
F: Man, it’s a shame they couldn’t get James Earl Jones in to sing along to Vader’s theme.

F: I’m surprised this thing has closing credits. I imagined everyone involved would want their name taken off this.
M: Written, directed and produced by Alan Smithee?
F: Staring Alan Smithee as Luke, Han, Leia, Chewie, C-3PO and R2-D2.
4thofeleven: (Default)
Overheard at university:

STUDENT 1: Wow, check out that rainbow!
STUDENT 2: It's so bright!
STUDENT 1: Yes.
(Brief Pause)
STUDENT 1: I think... I think it's got something to do with the rain.
4thofeleven: (Default)
 ATTRACTIVE YOUNG WOMAN (A) walks up to ME (B), and smiles.

A: Hey there.
B: Hey.
A: (Gestures at my headphones.) What'cha listening too?
B: (Automatically) The Mos Eisley Cantina music.
A: (silence)
B: (silence)
A: (silence)
B: ... from Star Wars.
A: (Turns and leaves)

The thing is, I wasn't even intentionally listening to it - the mp3 player was on random, it had just come up a minute before she came up to me...
4thofeleven: (Default)

Discussion in my Islamic History tutorial today:

(Note that we’re now more than two-thirds through the semester now, and this is a second year unit…)

Lecturer: (Briefly mentions a community of Moroccan Jews that were still speaking Spanish as late as the nineteenth century, centuries after being expelled from Spain.)
Student: So, wait – who expelled them from Spain? The Turks?

L: You think the Turks occupied Spain.

S: Um.

L: The Spanish Christians expelled the Jews, after they conquered the Moorish kingdoms.

S: Huh. So did Christians conquer all of Spain? Did the Moors ever get it back?

(Awkward silence)

L: (Continues discussion, pretending S. had not spoken)
4thofeleven: (Default)
Conversation with a friend:

A: You know, I’ve realised why I don’t like tofu.
B: Because it’s unimaginably vile?
A: That too. Because it’s the dystopic version of food pills.
B: (Blank Stare)
A: See, in the optimistic WORLD OF TOMORROW, we all eat food pills given to us by our robot maids before we head to work in our flying cars.
B: Sure…
A: But in the dystopic totalitarian future, like in 1984 or Soylent Green or whatever, you get processed unidentifiable lumps of gruel as food. That’s tofu.
B: That makes a lot of sense.
A: It’s right there in the name. To-Fu – Totalitarian Food.
B: (Brief pause) That’s not how you spell ‘food'.
A: It is in New-Speak.

4thofeleven: (Default)
Overheard on the train:

A: I don't want to go [to friends house]! I want to go to the city! I want to party! I want to party like it's nineteen... Ninteen...?
B: Eighty Four.
A: Yea! I want to party like it's Nineteen Eighty Four!

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David Newgreen

June 2017

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