In the Grim Darkness of the Far Future, There is Only Lentils

Conversation with a friend:

A: You know, I’ve realised why I don’t like tofu.
B: Because it’s unimaginably vile?
A: That too. Because it’s the dystopic version of food pills.
B: (Blank Stare)
A: See, in the optimistic WORLD OF TOMORROW, we all eat food pills given to us by our robot maids before we head to work in our flying cars.
B: Sure…
A: But in the dystopic totalitarian future, like in 1984 or Soylent Green or whatever, you get processed unidentifiable lumps of gruel as food. That’s tofu.
B: That makes a lot of sense.
A: It’s right there in the name. To-Fu – Totalitarian Food.
B: (Brief pause) That’s not how you spell ‘food'.
A: It is in New-Speak.