Coming Right At You

I don't care which happens, but I want the current 3D movie fad to either die quickly or to become so accepted that filmakers start actually using it effectively. In its current state, I'm less than impressed - when its only separating the background from the foreground, it looks alright, but when there's more than one layer of things, the 3D starts to look uncannily like a series of cardboard cutouts in a diorama. And the "Things flying straight at the audience" bits, if anything, seem to draw attention to the shortcomings of the technology - one tends to try and refocus one's eyes on something moving 'closer' which destroys the effect...

Review: Alice in Wonderland

I’m not going to spend much time describing the plot of Tim Burton’s new film, since you’re already familiar with most of it. But wait, you say, isn’t this meant to be a new story set in Wonderland, not just an adaptation of the book? Well, yes. Unfortunately, while it does have a new storyline, very little of the film is original. About half is simple rehashing of bits from the book, the other half is the most generic fantasy narrative we’ve all seen a hundred times, complete with prophesies, magic swords, dragons, and silly names. No, sillier than Lewis Carroll’s.

In both respects, far too much of the film seems to be just going through the motions. Rabbit hole? Check. Mad Hatter? Check. Tea Party? Check. Off with her head? Check. Enough shrinking and enlarging to support an entire online fetish community? Check. Perhaps one should not expect too much originality from a film based on a work that’s been adapted so many times – but even taking that into account, Tim Burton seems to have achieved the impossible and made Wonderland boring and predictable.

The ‘original’ plot, meanwhile, is serviceable at best. It seems completely at odds with the nature of Wonderland, of course – which should really be the last place one should expect prophesies to work out as expected. Arbitrary seems to be the word of the day; no reason is ever given why Alice must be the one to slay the dragon Jabberwocky, nor for that matter is any real explanation given for how the Red Queen seized power or why she hasn’t already destroyed the White Queen’s forces. In a better film, the arbitrary nature of the plot would be the point – the rules of Wonderland are arbitrary and avoid logical analysis. Unfortunately, this isn’t that film; Alice goes along with the buy-the-numbers fantasy plot without ever really raising any objections to the meaninglessness of it all.

Johnny Depp provides possibly the least interesting performance of his career as the Mad Hatter – possibly because, like too many of Wonderland’s denziens, he’s not actually mad. He feigns madness, or at least a second-rate Jack Sparrow impersonation, but it always seems clearly and rationally motivated by his desire to escape the notice of the tyrannical Red Queen. Apparently ‘mad’ in this film means simply ‘occasionally lapses into a Scottish accent’.

Most of the film’s flaws could be overlooked, were it not for the utterly baffling ending. Having spent the first few scenes clearly establishing there’s nothing of value for Alice in the real world – her father is dead, her mother is forcing her into marriage with a particularly unimaginative and dull lord, and she’s constantly being restrained by the limitations of nineteenth century upper-class society – the film ends with her utterly inexplicably deciding to leave Wonderland behind – despite having realised it’s more than a dream. Apparently her time in Wonderland has given her the self-confidence to stand up for herself – never mind that she was already snarking at everything at the start of the film and in fact spend the whole time in Wonderland doing exactly what anyone told her to do – so she publically refuses the lord’s proposal and insults most of her family members. This act of free-spirited independence curiously does not result in her being shunned by polite society, but instead leads to her becoming an apprentice in a trading firm, which she suggests should look into opening trade routes to China.

Seriously, I’m not kidding – apparently her adventure in Wonderland inspired her to begin advancing the cause of British Imperialism in East Asia. Unfortunately, I suspect we won’t be seeing Alice’s Adventures in the Opium Wars any time soon.

Oh, and for some reason, the Vorpal blade did not, after all, go 'snicker-snack'.

What did I like? Eh, the visuals were standard Tim Burton, but decent enough as Wonderland. The Cheshire Cat was decent, and the portrayal of the Dormouse as Ms. Reepicheep was a random enough characterisation to be amusing. Oh, and monkeys being the supports for all the Red Queen’s furniture was an amusing touch.