I'm sorry you have to go through that, but I'm also SO RELIEVED to know a guy who doesn't need ten thousand women to explain why getting groped in public places by strangers isn't automatically fun and flattering. Because gah, what about our preferences in who touches us? Why is it supposed to be so empowering to become every guy's fantasy-fulfillment, O Ferret? Just because you want to touch me does not mean that I am repressed and frigid if I tell you to stay away; it means I'm a person who doesn't want the world at large to consider me public property.
Sorry to go off ranting. I just have horrible memories of this guy in high school greeting my breasts every morning (only verbally, thankfully) and all sorts of other crap like that. Even my friends thought it was a hilarious and harmless game to throw things down my shirt. And the thing is, if you asked me whether I experienced a lot of sexual harassment, my automatic response would probably be, "No. Oh, except for that guy. And that middle-aged supervisor who kept calling me 'sweeatheart' and 'darling' and putting his hand on my shoulder when advising me on something. And those guys, two of them strangers, who crashed my apartment one night and would not leave, didn't understand why I didn't want to go for a ride with them, asked if my lotion could be used as a sexual lubricant, and said I would too be able to get work in the porn industry. And... hmm, maybe I answered too soon." So yes, ALL THE FUCKING TIME.
I know the Ferret has since apologized, but I still think he should dress up as a woman and spend a few weeks that way just so he really gets it.
ETA: I really didn't mean to just rant. Really, thanks for... well, for thinking, really. I mean it when I say it's a relief just knowing there are guys out there who get it and actively try to consider what it's like from the other side.
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ninetydegrees
no subject
on 2008-04-25 12:54 am (UTC)Sorry to go off ranting. I just have horrible memories of this guy in high school greeting my breasts every morning (only verbally, thankfully) and all sorts of other crap like that. Even my friends thought it was a hilarious and harmless game to throw things down my shirt. And the thing is, if you asked me whether I experienced a lot of sexual harassment, my automatic response would probably be, "No. Oh, except for that guy. And that middle-aged supervisor who kept calling me 'sweeatheart' and 'darling' and putting his hand on my shoulder when advising me on something. And those guys, two of them strangers, who crashed my apartment one night and would not leave, didn't understand why I didn't want to go for a ride with them, asked if my lotion could be used as a sexual lubricant, and said I would too be able to get work in the porn industry. And... hmm, maybe I answered too soon." So yes, ALL THE FUCKING TIME.
I know the Ferret has since apologized, but I still think he should dress up as a woman and spend a few weeks that way just so he really gets it.
ETA: I really didn't mean to just rant. Really, thanks for... well, for thinking, really. I mean it when I say it's a relief just knowing there are guys out there who get it and actively try to consider what it's like from the other side.