They're Not Lies if You Believe Them
Jan. 20th, 2009 05:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
4thofelevenLooks like someone in the outgoing American government has realised the Bush administration’s record isn’t going to whitewash itself! So they’ve begun production of a series of helpful pamphlets intended to convince everyone that George Bush did actually achieve something of value in his time in office. That’s right, it’s ‘100 Things Americans May Not Know About the Bush Administration Record’.
The 100 things, for some reason, are not numbered. But here’s some of the highlights:
- Advocated for and signed the Patriot Act, the Intelligence Reform and Terrorism Prevention Act.
No, I think we’re all aware of the Patriot Act; You might want to leave that off your list of achievements you want to brag about. The problem isn’t people haven’t heard of your achievements, it’s that they dislike those achivements.
- Persuaded Libya to disclose and dismantle all aspects of its WMD and advanced missile programs and renounce terrorism.
Of course, Libya didn’t have a functioning nuclear program, and wasn’t particularly close to developing one. I’ve always kind of liked Gaddafi, in a magnificent bastard kind of way, and I think getting concessions in exchange for shutting down a non-existent WMD program just goes to show that he’s pretty on the ball for a megalomaniac dictator.
- Withdrew from the Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty and operationalized missile defence.
‘Operationalized’ presumably means something different than ‘make operational’, since the missile defence shield still hasn’t been built, and it’s still not clear that the current design would work very well against a real missile attack.
I’m not entirely sure if ‘withdrew from the anti-ballistic missile treaty’ is something you want to be bragging about as an achievement, either.
- Established innovative programs, such as Provincial Reconstruction Teams, to help create the conditions for peace and security in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Note the use of the adjective ‘innovative’ in place of, say, ‘successful’ or ‘productive’.
- Bolstered civil society activists in countries such as…Venezuela.
Does ‘civil society activists’ include the leaders of the 2002 attempted coup? I’m assuming ‘civil society’ must be a synonym for ‘supportive of US business’.
- Laid the foundation for a future Israeli-Palestinian peace agreement and a democratic Palestinian state by launching direct negotiations between Israel and the Palestinian Authority at the Annapolis Conference
Didn’t lead to anything, of course, but hey! They tried, right? Close enough!
- Led the international response to the genocide in Darfur
Remember the international response to the Darfur genocide? Remember the leading role the US played in ending that crisis? Remember when Bush boldly spoke out, labelling the Sudanese government part of an ‘Axis of Evil’, and vowing not to rest until the perpetrators of the genocide were brought to justice? No? Huh, me neither.
- Strengthened America’s Interests and Alliances Abroad
*giggle*
- Led the response to the 2008 financial crisis.
Alright, this is just getting weird. I guess they couldn’t think of 100 good things about the Bush administration, so they just started making shit up?
I guess it’s ‘100 things Americans may not know about the Bush administration’, not ‘100 true things…’ I gotta admit, most Americans probably wouldn’t know about this stuff.
- Created USA Freedom Corps following 9/11 to help Americans volunteer to serve causes greater than themselves.
Alright, am I just cynical, or does ‘USA Freedom Corps’ sound uncannily like it should be an Orwellian secret police from a dystopic alternate history?
Anyway, if it’s been seven years since you created a volunteer corps and you’re still having to put references in it in your list of ‘things Americans may not know about’… Yeah, I’m going to have to assume the project was a failure.
- Rescued more than 575 children from sexual exploitation.
That seems like a really low number over eight years in a country of 300 million+. If the number of child sexual exploitation cases is that low, that’s great – but it seems like a very small number. Or is this just the cases that were handled by the Federal agencies? Anyway, I guess it's hard to screw up 'reducing child sexual abuse', so I guess this one isn't a total loss.
- Prohibited foreign nongovernmental organizations that receive U.S. tax dollars for family planning from performing or actively promoting abortion.
As a result, Brazil stopped accepting US government aid for its anti-AIDS program, believing that the terms for US aid included too many restrictions to be worth the effort. Note that Bush’s own anti-AIDS campaign – boasted about elsewhere in this document – was except from this policy. That’s how bad an idea the global gag rule is – even the Bush administration recognises that it’s counter-productive.
- Worked to build international consensus on practical actions to address climate change as a global issue.
This is technically true; it allowed a great many governments to reframe the less popular concept of ‘addressing climate changes’ as the highly popular ‘demonstrating our moral superiority to the Yanks.’ So, yes, technically, the Bush administration was the catalyst for global action on climate change… in much the same way as a filthy co-worker may remind you to make more of an effort to be hygienic yourself.
- Proposed initiatives to fix Social Security.
Note ‘proposed’. The initiatives didn’t actually go anywhere, of course.
- Directed Unprecedented Preparations for a Smooth Presidential Transition
‘Couldn’t wait to get out of office and hand all the problems over to someone else’.
The 100 things, for some reason, are not numbered. But here’s some of the highlights:
- Advocated for and signed the Patriot Act, the Intelligence Reform and Terrorism Prevention Act.
No, I think we’re all aware of the Patriot Act; You might want to leave that off your list of achievements you want to brag about. The problem isn’t people haven’t heard of your achievements, it’s that they dislike those achivements.
- Persuaded Libya to disclose and dismantle all aspects of its WMD and advanced missile programs and renounce terrorism.
Of course, Libya didn’t have a functioning nuclear program, and wasn’t particularly close to developing one. I’ve always kind of liked Gaddafi, in a magnificent bastard kind of way, and I think getting concessions in exchange for shutting down a non-existent WMD program just goes to show that he’s pretty on the ball for a megalomaniac dictator.
- Withdrew from the Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty and operationalized missile defence.
‘Operationalized’ presumably means something different than ‘make operational’, since the missile defence shield still hasn’t been built, and it’s still not clear that the current design would work very well against a real missile attack.
I’m not entirely sure if ‘withdrew from the anti-ballistic missile treaty’ is something you want to be bragging about as an achievement, either.
- Established innovative programs, such as Provincial Reconstruction Teams, to help create the conditions for peace and security in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Note the use of the adjective ‘innovative’ in place of, say, ‘successful’ or ‘productive’.
- Bolstered civil society activists in countries such as…Venezuela.
Does ‘civil society activists’ include the leaders of the 2002 attempted coup? I’m assuming ‘civil society’ must be a synonym for ‘supportive of US business’.
- Laid the foundation for a future Israeli-Palestinian peace agreement and a democratic Palestinian state by launching direct negotiations between Israel and the Palestinian Authority at the Annapolis Conference
Didn’t lead to anything, of course, but hey! They tried, right? Close enough!
- Led the international response to the genocide in Darfur
Remember the international response to the Darfur genocide? Remember the leading role the US played in ending that crisis? Remember when Bush boldly spoke out, labelling the Sudanese government part of an ‘Axis of Evil’, and vowing not to rest until the perpetrators of the genocide were brought to justice? No? Huh, me neither.
- Strengthened America’s Interests and Alliances Abroad
*giggle*
- Led the response to the 2008 financial crisis.
Alright, this is just getting weird. I guess they couldn’t think of 100 good things about the Bush administration, so they just started making shit up?
I guess it’s ‘100 things Americans may not know about the Bush administration’, not ‘100 true things…’ I gotta admit, most Americans probably wouldn’t know about this stuff.
- Created USA Freedom Corps following 9/11 to help Americans volunteer to serve causes greater than themselves.
Alright, am I just cynical, or does ‘USA Freedom Corps’ sound uncannily like it should be an Orwellian secret police from a dystopic alternate history?
Anyway, if it’s been seven years since you created a volunteer corps and you’re still having to put references in it in your list of ‘things Americans may not know about’… Yeah, I’m going to have to assume the project was a failure.
- Rescued more than 575 children from sexual exploitation.
That seems like a really low number over eight years in a country of 300 million+. If the number of child sexual exploitation cases is that low, that’s great – but it seems like a very small number. Or is this just the cases that were handled by the Federal agencies? Anyway, I guess it's hard to screw up 'reducing child sexual abuse', so I guess this one isn't a total loss.
- Prohibited foreign nongovernmental organizations that receive U.S. tax dollars for family planning from performing or actively promoting abortion.
As a result, Brazil stopped accepting US government aid for its anti-AIDS program, believing that the terms for US aid included too many restrictions to be worth the effort. Note that Bush’s own anti-AIDS campaign – boasted about elsewhere in this document – was except from this policy. That’s how bad an idea the global gag rule is – even the Bush administration recognises that it’s counter-productive.
- Worked to build international consensus on practical actions to address climate change as a global issue.
This is technically true; it allowed a great many governments to reframe the less popular concept of ‘addressing climate changes’ as the highly popular ‘demonstrating our moral superiority to the Yanks.’ So, yes, technically, the Bush administration was the catalyst for global action on climate change… in much the same way as a filthy co-worker may remind you to make more of an effort to be hygienic yourself.
- Proposed initiatives to fix Social Security.
Note ‘proposed’. The initiatives didn’t actually go anywhere, of course.
- Directed Unprecedented Preparations for a Smooth Presidential Transition
‘Couldn’t wait to get out of office and hand all the problems over to someone else’.
So, do you think George Bush Snr. is furious that his son has permanently tainted his good name, or is he thrilled that he’ll now be remembered by history as ‘The Competent President George Bush’?
Edit: And the Obama team has already taken over the White House website. For some reason, they didn't keep this stuff online. What a pity - how will the world learn about George Bush's unknown virtues now?!
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no subject
on 2009-01-20 09:14 am (UTC)no subject
on 2009-01-21 01:55 am (UTC)no subject
on 2009-01-21 09:48 am (UTC)Perhaps they were too ambitious. Perhaps it should just have been '1 good thing Bush has done' - I'm sure the collective intelligence of their administration could come up with at least one... right?
no subject
on 2009-01-20 07:49 pm (UTC)And wait, the Patriot Act is a good thing now?
I’m assuming ‘civil society’ must be a synonym for ‘supportive of US business’.
This is, sadly, a very good assumption when dealing with...pretty much any US foreign policy, really. Regardless of the president, to be honest.
Led the international response to the genocide in Darfur
Are you effin kidding me? WHAT response?!
Rescued more than 575 children from sexual exploitation.
That seems like a really low number over eight years in a country of 300 million+. If the number of child sexual exploitation cases is that low, that’s great – but it seems like a very small number. Or is this just the cases that were handled by the Federal agencies? Anyway, I guess it's hard to screw up 'reducing child sexual abuse', so I guess this one isn't a total loss.
I think this is actually a reference to cases of child sex trafficking (although, admittedly, badly worded and obscure). If so, then this is actually the one thing Bush has done right. And yeah, the number is still pretty low, but when you consider that previously we'd had practically no working mechanism for dealing with trafficking in America, and that this actually is a huge improvement... Yeah, it's something, I guess.
Note ‘proposed’. The initiatives didn’t actually go anywhere, of course.
And thank God for that, considering that said initiatives would have put basically all of Social Security in the stock market. Yeah.
no subject
on 2009-01-21 01:52 am (UTC)I guess it's perminantly lost now, and the world will remain ignorant of Bush's role in responding to Darfur... *rolls eyes*
no subject
on 2009-01-21 09:49 am (UTC)Well, yeah. Bush was right at the front, doing nothing along with everyone else. *sigh*